Shy of two weeks, my final year of schooling is coming to an end. Though I have been anticipating this moment for quiet sometime, I can feel the choke of anxiety already rising in my throat. I know nothing but school, the past twelve years of my life I have been in a strict routine 5 days a week. I always have a plan, and for next year I don't have one, I am really diving into the deep end... and in all honesty I am scared beyond belief. My stomach is in a knot, mixed with emotions, from fear to excitement. But what's the point in worrying about the future? Maybe by not having a plan, I am giving the universe a chance at guiding me to where I need to be and as cliche as it sounds, show me the path to my destiny. I have been through a turmoil in the last few years but deep down in the bottom depths of my soul I really feel that 2014 will be my year and so many new opportunities await me.
School has been anything but a breeze for me, with different views and beliefs to my peers I found myself ostracised. Let's face it I was and am different to them and used to bash down on myself about it all the time "WHY AM I NOT SMART ENOUGH?" "WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? "WHY AM I NOT RECEIVING STRAIGHT A'S?" "WHY CAN'T I FIT IN? AND ENJOY BEING AT PARTIES FILLED WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL?" "WHY AM I NOT "POPULAR"?" Maybe I didn't go to parties on the weekend and drink my consciousness away, maybe I wasn't your "typical popular", maybe I didn't receive above average grades in every subject and maybe I was and still am different... But I was me and I couldn't change that. I didn't realise this for a long time, but once I did, I couldn't understand why I was being so horrid to myself about being different, why was it wrong for me to have big dreams? To be a vegan in a place where it wasn't really accepted? To have an incredible passion for the wellbeing of animals? Nothing, I was an individual and that made me Demi and that made me stand out from the rest. “Don't dare to be different, dare to be yourself - if that doesn't make you different then something is wrong.” - Laura Baker Don't let anyone or anything make you have doubt in yourself, you are good enough and worthy enough. You deserve happiness laughter and life. Love yourself, love your flaws, love what you are and what you are not. You are you and no one can take that away from you!
Though school wasn't the best experience for me I'm glad I went through as it taught me so much about who I am as a person, what I valued, what I believe and what I stand by. The more I think about it whilst writing, I am not afraid, I want this door to close... I want another to open. The next chapter in my life, is really my life just beginning. What's ahead of me is so close I can taste it and really I can not wait.
Demi
No comments:
Post a Comment